Away From You…

Traveling down winding roads

I think of you.

Your lips.

Your laugh.

Your scent.

I glimpse into the heavens

Asking for your protection

Every so often.

This life apart is hard on me

Though I mask it with a smile.

It’ll only be a little while…

It’ll only be just one more mile.

Highways don’t love me the way you do.

I sit,

Secluded in a box

With my thoughts to keep me company.

I can’t get used to you not here….

I deal with my hurt silently,

Wishing you were near

And inside of me is wounded

But I have to run this race or I’ll lose it all.

We’ve come so far just to be so far apart.

Needing to have my space

But mourning my sudden loss.

In the morning I awaken and I face another day.

Taking on the pavement yet I’m still so far away.

I miss you…

I just want to be hugged.

Tell me that you love me by your touch,

You dont have to say a word.

But if you want,

Whisper in my ear sweet nothings

That will make my body melt for you and fall into your bosom.

I miss you….

I just want to be loved.

And passing all these exit signs

I look for your figure around the bend.

Maybe that was your voice at an intersection crossing

Or mabye I’m going crazy once again…..

Highways don’t love me the way you do.

The Love Experience Explained…

 

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Track Listing

  1. The Love Experience Intro
  2. Smoke Break (A Black N’ Mild Love Fling)
  3. Escape
  4. Homeostasis
  5. Coming Home Interlude
  6. #CongoLove
  7. Marry Me Freestyle
  8. Take Me Away Outro

Synopsis

The Love Experience” A spoken word journey through a story of love… is an EP created and produced by Inside Nianda Speaks. The story line is inspired by some true events which led to Inside Nianda Speaks writing his feelings in the form of poetry, and also features musical tracks that helped him get through the emotional highs and lows of the Love process.

The story begins with an argument between a man and woman who are in an explosive relationship. Though they love one another deeply, the words they express to one another come from that same dark place, and they begin to inflict emotional damage that tears them apart. (Track 1)

The man decides to grab his go to, Black N’ Mild cigars, in which he has attempted to quit but cannot due to his affinity for them to calm his nerves. (Track 2)

The woman, alone her home, feels the emptiness of being without the man by her side. She weeps, as he simultaneously beats himself up for the situation at hand. His only escape is to head to the beach where he can process what just took place and his feelings about his relationship. (Track 3)

While watching the waves crash against the rocks, the man has an epiphany. Throughout their volatile relationship, he sees that despite the woman’s best attempts at pushing him into an abyss, he always comes back to her arms. (Track 4)

The man, comes back home to the woman he loves, and she welcomes him by serenading and showering him with the love that only she can give. (Track 5)

The man loves making love to her, and explains to her the wild and crazy fiascoes that he remembers about their  various sexual escapades. (Track 6)

He then expresses to her his inner most thoughts about his love for her, then asks her to marry him. (Track 7)

Inside Nianda Speaks dedicates the album to those who shared the story of love with him, and expresses his profound gratitude to the listeners, those who helped his career, his children, and to his Creator. (Track 8)

Production Notes

  1. The Love Experience Intro – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Written by Mulemvo NiandaMusic by Kirk Franklin & The FamilyBackground Vocals by Baby Boy (2001)
  2.  Smoke Break ( A Black N’ Mild Love Fling) – Produced by Mulmvo Nianda; Written by Mulemvo NiandaMusic by Fabolous
  3. Escape – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Written by Mulemvo NiandaMusic by John Legend 
  4. Homeostasis – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Written by Mulemvo NiandaMusic by David Sides & Lucas Teague
  5. Coming Home Interlude – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Background Vocals by Martin TV Series, Victoria Nellum; Music by Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway
  6. #CongoLove – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Written by Mulemvo Nianda; Music by Fabolous
  7. Marry Me Freestyle – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Written by Mulemvo NiandaMusic by Fabolous
  8. Take Me Away Outro – Produced by Mulemvo Nianda; Spoken by Mulemvo Nianda; Music by K’jon

 

The Biography Series Part 2: She Don’t Even Know It…

If ever there was a lesson that took years for me to learn, it was the one given to me by a childhood friend of mine. I will always call her friend because she planted a seed so valuable inside of me, that it took many seasons of watering and many hands to till before it could sprout into the concepts I hold today. I’ll never forgot the words she spoke to me that day, and I will always remember the effect it had on me. This is what Victoria doesn’t know.

Victoria Nellum
Victoria Nellum

Victoria Nellum was my crush in the 7th grade at Larkspur Middle School. It was her beauty and style, and her always energetic and talkative personality that drew me to her. We began conversations as friends attending a few of the same classes until finally we exchanged numbers and began a time period of innocent courting. Victoria had no idea I was absolutely infatuated with her. Anytime she spoke, even if it was to answer a prompted question, I would lean my ear in her direction just to catch a wind of her inflections. We would youthfully hold hands in the hallways or lean up against our lockers, and I would eagerly await for the moment the “minute bell” rang so that I could press my lips against hers to say goodbye.

One day after school, we were having one of our many phone conversations about any and everything,  and I, being the charmer that I was, mustered enough bravado to tell Victoria I love her. I remember the pause of silence that lasted what seemed like an entire minute. She asked me what I had said again and I said, “I love you.” Victoria sighed then replied “How can you love me? You don’t even know what love is. You don’t love me, you just think you do.”

Victoria Nellum
Victoria Nellum

As my heart began to sink, and my throat dried up and tightened from the sting of rejection, it hit me. I really don’t know what love is. Because in the moment of her response, all those thoughts of her melodic voice, her lips pressed against mine, and her sweet perfume all faded away. When my love given wasn’t reciprocated, I retreated, carrying with me my limited conception of love.

Victoria taught me a valuable lesson then, even though it took years to solidify the concept through learning experiences with other people. I learned in that moment the difference between love and infatuation.

No matter how strong the infatuation is, the feeling is based on a limited perspective of the whole person. Its easy to be infatuated with someone’s beauty, or the common interests you share, or the things that person likes because you’re learning about a whole person and the possibilities of the human desire have no end. But infatuation is put to the test when you uncover that this person, is just a person, with mistakes and mood shifts, challenges and faults, or just traits that may rub you the wrong way.

Victoria was right in that, first of all we were just kids. How could we possibly know anything about loving someone else? But secondly, we hadn’t taken any time in looking deep into one another and finding out who we were actually courting. Again being a kid, all I knew was I liked Phys Ed. and that I was spending lunch and class breaks with a girl that actually wanted to be around me.

Breaking out of infatuation into love takes a trial, a situation, or circumstance that challenges the relationship but bonds the two people involved together. It’s difficult to love someone through a disruption, but what I’ve discovered is that using discernment and wisdom on the front end makes the journey easier down the line. When you are able to read the intentions of a man’s heart, you can accept them for who they are, and choose to navigate the challenges of your life with or without them. Even if the challenge is them. 

Bishop Clinton Foster would constantly tell me “When people show you who they really are, you should believe them the first time.” Study a person’s deeds and words and see if they align with the morals and values they claim to uphold. Then compare them to your own values and see if they are in harmony. This is the way into love.

Let me be clear in saying that just because there isn’t alignment between to beings now, doesn’t mean there can’t be alignment at a later point. This all depends on the life stage both beings are in. And also just because someone doesn’t have the same morals or values as yourself does not mean they should be demonized or outcast. Everyone in this world has something unique to bring to the table, it’s you who decides whether to add it on your plate and eat it or not. We cause more problems for ourselves when we feel that we “have to” entertain the person in front of us, or that it’s polite to grit and bear the situations we are put in with other people. We don’t, and there is way of escape in any situation.

Victoria Nellum
Victoria Nellum

So to Victoria, who gave me my first encounter with the complexities of what love isn’t, Thank you, for checking my ignorance about love at the door, and sending me on my journey to try again. A true friend will tell you the truth at all times, and this one lesson has never lied. From friend to friend, I love you.

 

 

The Biography Series Part 1
The Biography Series Part 1

Reflections at 30…

I was watching commentary about the nuclear proliferation deal the United States made with Iran and as the guest was speaking he made a comment that sparked a tangent of thoughts.

The commentator was criticizing President Obama and the 15 year life span of the agreement, saying that this doesn’t stop Iran from making a nuclear weapon, they’ll just wait it out. He said “…to Americans, who often measure life spans in increments of 4 or presidental terms, that’s a long time. But to those who measure life in generations, 10 or 15 years is just a snapshot of time.”

This comment resonated in my spirit all that morning, because too often I’ve been guilty of looking at my life in small increments; in months to at most 4 or 5 years. This way of thinking can highlight the many “mistakes” or “missteps” which are part of the life process. Thinking this way can keep us bound by fine toothing through every action or decision and judging whether it was right or wrong. It can cause people to live in pain, guilt, anger, or embarrassment rather than accepting who they really are and the path they are on.

I’ve never really stopped and looked at the totality of my life but in this process of doing so, I now have a birds eye view of pitfalls and triumphs, the mistakes and glory, the tears of joy and sorrow that have occurred in my life span.

In the last 10 years, I’ve joined the military and traveled the world. I’ve been married and divorced and out of it produced 2 beautiful children who have given me the meaning of unconditional love.

In the last 10 years I survived a suicide attempt, truly believing  I had nothing else to live for after feeling the blunt force of humiliation.

And then…

I was blessed with an opportunity to host a radio show that stretched accross the world. I’ve delivered spoken word messages to thousands of ears and open hearts, all the while delivering documentaries and events to the beautiful people that I was called to.

I’ve been handcuffed and searched countless times and saw the inside of a jail on too many occasions.

I’ve lived in one of the most beautiful cities in America and within it, have experienced the sting of homelessness.

In the last 10 years I’ve felt the gentle carress of love’s warm embrace, and also the clamp of tainted love’s teeth.

I’ve been in the presence of the most interesting and beautiful people one could ever meet, likening them to angels since they appeared but only for a snap shot in my life, but redirected the course of my journey.

I’ve also come across evil forces, attempting to physically destroy my life or the purpose I’ve been given.

I’ve lost so much dead wieght to make room for the true friends this world saw fit to bless me with.

I’ve broken hearts and have been broken in spirit.

I’ve been cussed at, cursed, and publicly degraded; but praised, uplifted, and desired in the presence of those who hated me.

I’ve sat at the feet of some of the wisest men and women this world has produced, holding onto thier every word as if it were the breath that would save a drowning child.

In the last 10 years despite the tribulations, I’ve shed more tears of joy than tears of sorrow.

I’ve had noticeable spiritual growth and development, and have learned to take heed to the voice of righteousness that steers my course.

I’m in the best physical shape of my life.

I’ve gained understanding of the world I created for myself, and I aim everyday to learn something new about someone else’s world.

If someone were to ask me “Mulemvo, who are you?” I would explain to them that I am the sum total of all of my life experiences, the people I’ve encountered, and the energies that have yet to come.

I could shed ten thousand justifiable tears, or I could stretch myself everyday to give a thousand unjustified smiles to people I may never see again. I’ve impacted so many lives for the better, but I’ve also brought challenges with me, and I’m grateful that I was given a whole 30 years to do it.

To anyone who I have encountered, whether through acquaintance or business, email or phone call, performance, airwaves, or internet blog sites, friend or family, long-term intimate partners or for an immediate mutual need, I thank you for spending a moment in time with me. Whether we meet again or not you’ve helped me grow into who I have become.

And to My Creator, who has given me life and the wisdom to protect it, thank you for this last 10 years and the entire 30.

Peace & Blessings to you all.

Here’s to another 30…
 
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